If It's Training, It Must Be Haiku!

...or YMCA without Village People

I'm still Jennifer
no matter how many times
I circle round room

Peppy Y people
handshaking is religion
ice breakers...good lord

Finger fencing key
play the defense until you
jump in his weak spot

Thats not grape candy
deceptive dark table candy
I make vomit face

I have a fan club
Dallas grrls write "Jen is cool!"
Aim high, grrls, higher.

Haiku on the palm
they say "Hey, that's pretty neat!"
...so nothing's private.

I train much better
with Starbuck's and a thick robe.
I love you, Westin.

Can you hear COPPA
and NOT think of Manilow?
Wow. "They fell in love".

The arctic Westin
frigid meetings, cozy rooms.
I miss the bathrobe!

The capri season
has rudely come to an end
and no pants fit me.

Gap clothed Y trainers
all sound like Fargo to me
I sound like Hee Haw!

Mighty Med-ya Mike
Walks hunched up to the laptop
dang wireless hookup!

He's Spencer Bonnie
Peppiest trainer around,
Spencer IS Bonnie.


Holiday With A Monkey

Halloween Costume?
What is a monkey to wear!?
This link shall tell you.


time to manage posting!

From a time management seminar I had to attend last week. Run by a guy named Frank. Yeah. Suddenly, the haiku, it was a-flowin'...

Time management talk
60 steps to better work
Use "buddy system!"

Garfunkel afro:
"Help me into history!"
"Looking for converts."

Fake sand-colored tan,
Matching sand-colored hair -
California Frank.

His teal green dress shirt
Matches his teal book cover.
Subliminal plug?

My affirmation?
I'm too smart for my job and
Too cool for this talk.

Bad cover art shows
Pink people of all races.
Colorblind my world.

Not quite 10 a.m.,
Seventh haiku of the hour -
Haiku = survival.

Really have to pee
See no easy escape route -
Symbolic problem.

Frank's California
Orange tree analogy
Barb Walters question

Between this talk and
Tonight's Bush-Kerry debate -
Can't wait for blog time!

Support staff I'm not
Scholar lost among cattle
And I won't say "moo."

If I am cattle,
I've been behaving quite well
In this china shop.

Ex-monk from Detroit,
Then Brooklyn, now southern Cal.
He lectures on time.

"What's your phone number?
"Don't really want to know - just
"Doing what I'm told."

Sudafed drowsy
Frank says it's OK to nap...
Hm, sleep or coffee?

Frustrated women
Bottle-blonde secretaries
Talk office software

"Change your attitude!"
"If there's junk, get rid of it!"
"Delegate!" Gag me.

"Why to Read This Book"
Takes up the first ten chapters
Why should I read those?

It's been bugging me
All day whom he resembles -
Wait! It's Gene Wilder!

"Archiving has been
"Delegated," he asserts.
Throw the books away.

"Maybe is a closet no."
Fear the fear itself.